College plan Blog

Discover the trait likeable people are known for. Your college and career success depends on it.

In all of the 3 semesters Linda had been at school, she’d chosen classes that had “a bunch of jerks” in them. Hmmmm. . . Imagine that. In a year and a half of school, in meeting hundreds of people, Linda keeps running in to jerks.

Are there jerks at school? Of course, name a school that doesn’t have them. However, what’s up with Linda that she keeps finding them? Is she a jerk magnet?

Well, that could be the problem. Here’s some tough love. We see the world not as it is, but as we are. I don’t think Linda has had Psychology 101 yet, or she would have gotten this lesson.

We need to be the person we want to attract. Linda needs to lighten up and to become more aware of how she’s coming across to people. And, with respect, I told her so. We actually ended up spending some time together chatting more about this.

Let me give you an important insight and share with you: THE TRAIT LIKEABLE PEOPLE ARE KNOWN FOR.

Don’t you find it easy to approach and make friends with people who have a happy, upbeat attitude? Those who have something nice to say, who smile, and who are genuinely interested in what other people have to say?

Nothing attracts people more than being a positive person who sincerely enjoys the company of other people. Study after study tells us that the most important factor that goes into determining how successful you will be is how well you get along with people.

Happy people who like being around others and enjoy listening to them (more than making the conversation all about them) are likely to rise to the top of the success ladder and to stay there.

Look for the best in yourself, in your circumstances, and in others. You will find it.

Tags: attitude, college success skills, college survival, friends, positive attitude, positive thinkingattitude, college success skills, college survival, friends, positive attitude, positive thinking

Share This

Any clue what people notice first about you? The answer may surprise you.

Whether you’re coming to college right after high school, transferring from another school, or returning to school after decades of being in the work force, you want to fit in quickly and get along with your classmates, the faculty and staff. The more people who like you, the easier your college career will be. By the way, the more people who like you, the easier anything is!

So, you must know this, according to research at Harvard University, it can take less than 15 seconds to form a first impression. And I’m talking about the impression that stays with a person, forever. Research has also shown that 80% of the time, we will not change those first impressions. What this means to you is that if you’re coming off poorly on a regular basis, that less than sterling reputation will follow you even if you just were having an off day.

What do people notice first? What’s the essential factor behind the first impression? It’s how you look. That may bug you. You may say, that’s not fair. But we’re not here to talk about the way things should be, we’re here to talk about things as they are. And the fact is, people judge you first by how you look. We could go on for volumes on this, but let’s just touch on body language here.

What your body language tells people about you

Fair or not, people make judgments about you with their eyes first. We process information almost instantaneously. We see. We judge.

What people notice when they look at you, whether they notice it consciously or not, is your attitude about three things:

1. Yourself. Do you have high self-esteem? Is your self-image in the dumpster? Are you trying to mask low self-esteem with arrogance? It all comes through.

2. Your situation. Are you happy to be where you are? Do you have the look as you go from class to class that someone that makes people want to say “dead man walking”? Remember, people love to be around happy people. Doom and gloom is so yesterday. Perk up, sunshine, no one wants to be around a negative person.

3. Them. People notice your attitude about them. Are you glad to see them? Suspicious? Scared? Think to yourself, “Ah, how nice to see you.” And that thought comes through as warmth. It’s nice. People like it. And they will like you for it.

To give people the very best impression of you, hold yourself with confidence and keep in your mind the idea that you’re approachable. As you walk through the student union, or across the campus, practice looking people in the face (rather than walking looking at the ground) and smile when they look at you. You can nod, or say “hi, beautiful day, isn’t it?”or some small talk comment like that.

To show that you are friendly and approachable, make sure you look people in the eyes. Of course, I’m not talking about staring people down, here. Just look at them as you would a friend, and smile. Walk confidently and with assurance.

If you want to influence the messages that you’re giving with your body language, make sure your thoughts reflect the ideas you want to convey. By this I mean, you can’t be standing there thinking you’d rather be anywhere else but there and think that your body language is going to portray you as a confident, warm and kind person. Nope, sorry, your body language will give you away every time.

Smile a warm friendly smile. Think to yourself, “I’m approachable.” People have a way of picking up on what we’re thinking. If you imagine that you are easy to talk to, many more people will make the attempt to know you better.

Imagine that you radiate warmth, and joy and friendliness. You watch, that’s an incredibly attractive presence and people will naturally feel comfortable around you. Try it! It works.

Tags: author, body language, books, college students, college tips, first impression, friends, social lifeauthor, body language, books, college students, college tips, first impression, friends, social life

Share This